Is what you settled for taking up space for what you really want?
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Not getting the results you want?Ask yourself: “Is this something I really want to be doing or was it someone else’s idea?” Is it something you want? Then schedule your success.Here are three principles that we can use to be successful. 1. Stay focused. Most problems are solved the same way; it’s just the details that are different. —Make a decision. Be clear about your intentions and outcomes. Clear intentions lead to solid results. Intentionality drives creativity. Creativity drives results. Results drive outcomes. —Focus is not force. Do not force an outcome. Outcomes may arrive differently then we expect. Leave room for the unexpected to amaze you. Stay focused on your outcome while continuing to listen to the guiding voice within. 2. Quit tolerating mediocre. To attract the results you want, first, commit the time and space for what you really want. —Set clear boundaries. If you no longer accept being dragged down by unwanted events, problems or other people’s behavior, you’ll stop wasting time managing situations that are not or should not be there anyway. Sometimes we get bogged down in the "shoulda, woulda, coulda and what-ifs" of each situation—these usually revolve around blurred boundaries. Sometimes, we need to let go of situations or things that are not moving us in the direction we want to go. 3. Put your heart into your intention and the world. We can all have the best of intentions but let’s be honest… do you have a burning desire to see it through to completion? —Implement your plan. Make your plan simple and flexible. Deliberately set accountability steps to achieve what you want. Develop a highly efficient and effective routine around your accountability steps. Each step gets you closer to what you want. Let others know of your dreams, intention and desired outcome. The best (and worst) part of life is it’s up to you to get the results you want. “Each of us has two ends: one to sit with, one to think with. Success depends on which one you use; heads you win — tails you lose.” ~Anonymous, humor and wisdom greatly appreciated~ Have a great day in whatever your adventure
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Over the Edge
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Over the Edge
I hate to admit it, but I really “went over the edge” with someone the other day… you see, they are chronically late. This time, I allowed their tardiness to take me from the present moment into frustration. It was just one time too many, the proverbially straw that broke the camel’s back. My concentration wandered for the next two hours between looking at the clock and work.
Oh, I had plenty to fill my time, that wasn’t the point. It was my righteous indignation of the two hours I waited for their presence. Those moments ticked by as I took each tick on the clock as a personal affront. I wandered between frustration to they didn’t respect me to feeling unimportant. Upon their arrival, I let it be known loud and clear… not a pretty picture to say the least.
Yes, I allowed the incident to happen. I know I cannot change anyone else but myself. I admit that I know this person is almost always late—so why was I surprised this time…? I could have called and canceled, postponed or made other arrangements. Instead I stayed in frustration and hurt and allowed myself to fly straight into anger.
Anger is a secondary emotion. To get angry, typically, you have to feel hurt, frustrated or frightened. Once you determine the base cause, you have a choice to change how you think and feel about the situation. This time, I had allowed myself to make a choice based on patterns built and used over time.
My response was not congruent with who I want to be. Next time I will, step back into the present moment and look at the situation. With curiosity, (and in third person) look back at myself, over there, and examine the hurt and frustration and be open to the choices I could make in that situation.
If you find your self in a similar situation, explore your thoughts and feelings. Thank yourself for paying attention. Step back before going over the edge and set an intention to resolve the situation. (If the events that lead to anger revolve around any type of danger, emotional or physical, apply liberal doses of appreciation for the chance to open your eyes to something new.) Really experience how you feel about what’s happening around you, without judgment. Awareness is the key to all change.
That evening I came upon this quote — ironic how you see things from a different perspective if you open to the opportunity.
"Lost, yesterday, somewhere between sunrise and sunset, two golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes. No reward is offered for they are gone forever." ~Horace Mann~
Have a great day in whatever your adventure.
To Success! To Life!
p.s. I liked the Horace Mann quote so much I made it into a printable pdf. To get it, enter your details below and we will send it to you.
p.p.s. The book finally made it to the printer — every thing takes longer than you think— funny, that is what my wayward friend told me upon his arrival too… Anyway, it should be available in about 3 weeks! If you want one of the first copies, I have a special price for all of my friends and loyal readers. See the special offer—23% off (my lucky number.)
Think you can
"If you think you can, or if you think you can’t, either way, you’re right." ~Henry Ford~
Sometimes, some of our biggest obstacles our ourselves. Our presuppositions and preconceived notions about what we can and can’t do, our limiting beliefs, and how sometimes, the parts of us that stop us from achieving success. Finding these, voices, notions and beliefs can be tricky. The mind is good at hiding them from our conscious self. As we begin to notice and change these beliefs you may start to bump into your secret and not-so-secret fears.
Your mind is quite content in the comfort zone. But to change and get what you want, you need to leave that comfort zone. As you begin to focus on noticing your beliefs, the will become easier and easier to find.
After a day or two’s reflection, what are some of your beliefs about the outcome you are pursuing–both positive and negative beliefs? Get them down on paper.
Did any of your responses surprise you? Challenge a couple of these beliefs. As you begin to identify and examine each one, ask yourself:
* Is it true? Does this make sense?
* Where did I learn this idea? As I think about a belief is it my voice or someone else’s? E.g. mom, teacher, dad…
* How does believing this idea affect me?
* Does it help me or hold me back? How?
Awareness is the first step in changing any pattern of behavior. As you go about your day today, just notice how many of these old beliefs have worked their way into your "operating system."
Have a great day in whatever your adventure
To Success! To Life!
Sharon
Not always the Intention…
Last week, I attended an advanced Presentation Workshop. We were to give a presentation while the group acted as our audience. At times, "the audience" asked questions. Some of the questions surprised me. I did not think they had a specific relationship to my presentation. I realized, after reflection, the audience received a different central point than what I intended.
Basic ABCs of Intentions: ambiguity, beliefs, and contradictions
Regardless of our intention, there may be more than one answer. Think of all those "Yeah, but…" and "What if…" times. Ambiguity, beliefs, and contradictions exist everywhere, in spite of our desire for clarity.
They can be caused by thoughts and feelings, unresolved emotions, ignored life lessons, outdated information, or by external forces wanting us to not change, change, or believe they way they do.
The intention for my presentation was: To give a concise, ten-minute presentation on my topic. However clear and positive my intention was to me, the presentation ran smack into several well-entrenched beliefs of some audience members…
Attention to Intention
Premise: We cannot change anyone but ourselves. No matter how positive our intention, it may be misunderstood. There is an NLP saying that goes: "The response you got is the message you sent." Meaning, it isn’t your intention behind what you said that matters, it is how it is received that matters…
To reduce ambiguity, beliefs and contradictions consider that an intention must have three things for it to possibly succeed. They are:
- Take some time to clear about what you want. Make sure to state it in the positive. A statement of what you want, not what you don’t want. The unconscious mind does not recognize negatives. Example, as I tell you not to think of the pink elephant, what are you thinking of, right now?
- It must be completely controlled by you. I did not have control over the audience reaction. An intention to get someone to behave differently is not controlled by you. It won’t work.
- If your intention is of the "global proportion", pare it down into manageable "nuggets." As you create these "nuggets" make a note of specific, sensory based "markers". What will you see, hear, and feel, when you complete each "nugget"? After completing each nugget, give your self a little Hi-Five celebration to keep you motivated. That’s it for today.
Have a great day in whatever your adventure.
To Life! To Success!