Live Passionately Society

Are you on autopilot…

Have you ever noticed there is really little one can control except how we choose to react…. I wrote this while winging my way back from Philly the other day. It really was an uneventful flight, yet after watching 100+ people board the plane; I can only assume that "control" is not something everybody understands, yet. 

I don’t think they even realize they are behaving from a place of overwhelm, thus the reason I titled this "Autopilot." To be fair, overwhelm isn’t just an emotional response, it’s a physical response. You can just see it in their faces and the way they move…. The feeling of overwhelm is part of the physical response stress, together these two are commonly called the fight or flight response (no pun intended.)

Fight or flight is the rapid surge of high levels of the hormones adrenaline and cortisol released in our body. These hormones affect reasoning and thinking. They are not bad guys though, at low levels, cortisol actually facilitates our mental functions.

Since I’m on a plane, I’ll steal a flying analogy– Did you know when you fly, if you start out just one degree off course you end up in a totally different part of the world? It’s the law of exponential growth. You start at Airport X, you fly one degree off course, soon it becomes two degrees, than four, than eight off course…. Same idea holds true for emotions, they can infect an entire group.  A study by Daniel Goleman and Richard Boyatzis titled Social Intelligence and the Biology of Leadership states that "destructive emotions infects an entire group and inhibits its performance. Leaders are themselves not immune to the contagion of stress. All the more reason they should take the time to understand the biology of their emotions."

Train yourself to control your emotions instead of being controlled by them, notice when you begin to feel overwhelmed and take action to calm yourself so you can maintain clear thinking when it is needed most. Being able to think clearly under stress will increase your effectiveness as a leader. Awareness is key, many notice the physical sensation first, some call it a gut response, a knot in the stomach… my favorite "turtleing," that sensation of shoulders so high that your ears disappear.

Under stress the typical first response is to revert back to old habits, no matter how unsuitable they are for addressing the new challenge. As they just told me, "put your mask on first, then help others…." To be a true leader one must have an awareness of and control over the autopilot button. 

To Success! To Life!

Sharon

A moment of back-story, I was really tired after my trip to Doylestown and helping Michael Port launch “The Think Big Manifesto.” I’m not sure why as I like to think I work hard every day but for some reason after this trip I was burned out. Now don’t get me wrong, throughout that week, I learned and experienced so much, it is priceless. And I just love Michael, Julie, and the whole rest of the wonderful crew yet, to be honest, I was burned-out. There was no candle left to burn either end.

So, back to finding what you need when you need it…

There is an auto mechanic down the street from me. He has this funky sign he changes whenever the mood strikes him. A few days back here and well into my pity-party, my eye caught—

"I Create My Reality and I am Creating this Emotion Right Now"

His signs are usually not so deep, yet that sign snapped me back into the reality I wanted, not the one I was creating. The reality for me, at that time, was a place of exhaustion, wanting to be left alone and a feeling of not having any more to give anyone…. Those feelings should have been my first clue that what I needed at that time was to take care of myself, recharge myself.
 
Not like that was the first time I’ve ever been to that state of exhaustion, why do some lessons take so many repeats to sink-in?  Gotta learn to listen to the signals my body is giving me earlier. 

Life Lesson to me to remember: When the physical and emotional bank accounts are drained, it’s beyond the time to re-fill them. Fill-up early and often… Whenever I’m feeling tired, not myself, short tempered, out-of-balance… it’s time for a little R and R—Refill and Recharge. So, what are you going to do for yourself this weekend?

Take some time for yourself so you can share your dreams and passion with the world. The world needs them.

Have a great day whatever your adventure

To Life! To Success!

Sharon

p.s. Today it reads : “I’d rather age than stop.”

My friend Dave gave me a great book the other day… It is a collection of Elbert Hubbard’s epigrams titled "A Thousand and One Epigrams."

I had given Dave a pre-release copy of Michael Port’s latest book "The Think Big Manifesto" for his recent plane trip… he found the "Manifesto" inspiring and returned the favor with an inspiring book for my trip. I began reading "1001" on the flight to Philly, I love how this book turns a phrase even when it is not an epigram. Elbert defines epigram as "a condensed nugget of wisdom and wit, flavored with a surprise…" How cool is that definition?

I will be tweeting many of them soon, but two of my favorites from Elbert are:

—"Do unto others as though you were the other."

—"You are what you think, and not what you think you are."

Elbert was Dave’s great uncle. He was quite an ad man, PR guy and writer in his day until his death on the S.S. Lusitania on May 7, 1915. Thanks, Dave… you do know how I love a gifted wordsmith.

Another favorite is, "An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all."  I might add "or big or bold" after dangerous. "An idea that is not dangerous or big or bold is unworthy of being called an idea at all."

As I was reading that epigram, I thought of why I was headed to Philly… I’m here with Michael Port, because today, he just released his 4th and absolutely best book by far: "The Think Big Manifesto: Think You Can’t Change Your Life (and the World)? Think Again."

Big, bold ideas that create action are needed today.

Since I met Michael several years ago, I have heard about his passion to write this book. With his "Book Yourself Solid" series and now "The Think Big Manifesto" he has challenged me to think bigger about who I am and what I offer the world. His passion is now out in print and it’s inspiring, compelling and challenging!

I encourage you to read the "Manifesto." The sooner the better because, today is the day to get the book and score some seriously neat free stuff.

LINK
www.thinkbigmanifesto.com

Once you read it, let me know what you think? What are the bigger, bolder things you will offer the world?
http://twitter.com/ssayler
http://twitter.com/beyondlipsvc

As many of you know, my Blog talk Radio Show is call Beyond Lip Service and the tagline is "Be bold. Life is about taking action."  Tomorrow, Tuesday the 28th 10 am Pacific is a great, prerecorded show with Gary Phillips (www.artofsafety.ca) on "Bold Communication in the Workplace," so what better way to sign off than with this epigram from Elbert about taking action: "An ounce of performance is worth a pound of preachment."

Have a great day whatever your adventure
To success! To life!
Sharon
http://twitter.com/ssayler
http://twitter.com/beyondlipsvc

Well, it finally happened. As many of you know, I challenge myself to do something I have never done before for my birthday.  My birthday came and went a month ago…. Sunday, my sister, Linda and her husband, Lowell decided for me… they "kidnapped" me and off we went on an adventure.

Lowell is an amateur competitor in sporting clay and skeet events, so what better thing to learn then the fine art of sporting clay, skeet and trap. A couple of times, I even hit two in a row. Woo Hoo!  Yet, for every good shot, a bunch went "splat," sometimes business opportunities are like that too.

My #1 learning was: Make sure you understand what’s coming in and what’s going out. The cross-pollination of life experiences were a buzz in my brain — to be successful at sport shooting (business or anything, really) it takes:

–Practice. Learn to anticipate and recognize changes. Don’t over think it.  Practice creates perseverance.

–Patience. Aim just ahead of the target by the time you pull the trigger the target will be there. Patience creates resilience.

–Passion. For goodness sake, enjoy yourself. It’s all just a game. Passion creates perspective.  

A friend once mentioned to me that it takes at least three years to get good at something if you practice, learning sporting clay reminded me it takes patience and passion too.

I want to give a shout-out to Stephen (a frequent contributor of ideas for this newsletter.) He is one of the guys that runs the place (www.salemclays.com.) Thanks Stephen, Linda and Lowell for the great day, it was a lot of fun.
 
Oh, one last thing, I was in Philadelphia a few days ago for the launch of Michael Port’s Think Big Manifesto. Next week it will debut #9 on The New York Times bestseller list. I’ll share some of the that adventure later.

Have a great day in whatever your adventure.

To Success!To Life!

Sharon

“…If thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought…”
~George Orwell

At times, things just come out of my mouth… and it’s not until it falls out of my mouth that I’m aware it has an assumption (or two.)  Last week, I was trying to express myself to my friend Sparks; it just wasn’t as clear as it could have been.  In response, instead of frustration, pushing or prodding I hear 3 wonderful words… “Tell me more.”

Respectful Inquiry

It is amazing how things just seem to align… last Tuesday on our Blog Talk Radio show Beyond Lip Service (www.blogtalkradio.com/beyondlipservice), I had the pleasure of interviewing Marian Way (www.apricotisland.com/). Her specialty is Clean Language*, a process for helping others explores their own metaphors, and gain insights into their thinking and behaviors. As the name implies, it is ‘clean / neutral.’ It is also very flexible.

Clean Language started as a therapeutic tool, but can be used with everyday events, including:

    * Interviewing
    * Modeling different skills and perceptions
    * Coaching and feedback
    * Meetings and job appraisals
    * Team building and decision-making
    * Self-discovery and exploration

Clean Language strives to put our assumptions aside to let the other person be heard and understood. That’s when the beauty of “tell me more,” became apparent. Now, “tell me more” is not Clean Language, but it serves a similar purpose…

Consider a statement as simple as  “What are you thinking?” Seems tame enough, yet it assumes that they are thinking something. So it could be changed to, “Are you thinking anything?” Yet, that still assumes they are thinking. Changing the statement to be ‘clean / neutral’ “Is there anything else about that?” could include thinking or feeling or listening or hearing…

Some Clean Language phrases that can be slipped into a conversation are:

    *  “What kind of … is that?”
    * “Is there anything else about that?”
    *  “What would you like?”

The key to using Clean Language and thoughtful communication is not trying to make anything happen. I find again and again, that others have their own answers, and creating an assumption and belief-free zone for someone to discover their own insights is respectful and more effective than any remedy I may come up with.
 
To learn more about Clean Language and Marian Way, visit www.apricotisland.com

“The human soul doesn’t want to be fixed, it simply wants to be seen and heard. The soul is like a wild animal – tough, resilient and shy. When we go crashing through the woods shouting for it to come out so we can help it, the soul will stay in hiding. But if we are willing to sit quietly and wait for a while, the soul may show itself. ~ “The Courage to Teach” ~ Parker J. Palmer”
 

Have a great day whatever your adventure

To Success! To Life!

Sharon

*Clean Language was developed by psychotherapist, David Grove, as a way to keep his assumptions at bay, so he could work directly with his clients’ perceptions.

p.s. Tuesday’s guest is going to be great and maybe a bit controversial… Neil Ducoff, author of No Compromise Leadership. Neil states "The truth is, America’s economy was brought down by compromise. And we’re all paying the price for it.  With millions out of work, and no tangible let-up yet in sight, what can business leaders and owners – whether large corporations or mom-and-pop enterprises – do to save their companies and survive? He contends we will require a game- changing paradigm shift….   Join me this Tuesday April 14th at 1:00PM Eastern/10AM Pacific for Beyond Lip Service at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/beyondlipservice

My friend Stephen attended a workshop last weekend. As he relayed the event, he commented that the instructor had a favorite response to many questions… "Your choice."

It is our choice, isn’t it? Yet, life doesn’t always feel as simple as those two words make it seem.

Sometimes, you have to make hard choices and sometimes the right choice isn’t very clear. As I got to thinking about making a tough choice,  I first thought about the law of unintended consequences… each time a choice is made other things will change. If possible, allow time to explore the benefits and risks involved in changing or not.

When faced with a hard decision, here are CHOICE keys to consider:

Choose one decision at a time. Revisit your goals and values and examine alternatives. This is a good time to check in with both your heart and head. What do you feel and think about the decision?

Honor those affected by your choice. Be proactive and inform them first. Do not play games or beat around the bush. Be transparent.

Open your communication and say what you mean. Use whole messages. A whole message has 4 parts; a description of the need for the decision, your thoughts around the decision (beliefs, values, goals,) your feelings about the decisions (your opinion or interpretation,) and your desired outcomes for the decision.

Independent balanced with interdependent. Respect there will be differences. One can still care about someone who has different ideas, interests, and opinions to your own. If you expect them to respect your choices one must respect someone else’s choices and opinions as well.

Courage to know your boundaries and maintain a commitment to the decision. This is not to imply that sometimes decisions cannot change, but by alert to pressures that go against your decision.

Endorse your decision, endure your choice, enjoy your outcome… I came up with so many "E"s it was hard to choose…

Have a great day whatever your adventure

To Success! To Life!

Sharon

p.s

My Blog Talk Radio Show Beyond Lip Service’s special guest is Marian Way this Tuesday April 7th. Marian is from England, where she started out teaching math and later worked for 20 years in the Weight Watchers, where she and a colleague developed the POINTS diet. Now she runs her own training, coaching and facilitation business. Her specialty  is Clean Language, a process for helping people to explore their own metaphors to gain new insights into their thinking and behavior patterns, which can lead to profound change. Marian is in Portland this May with an extended program, which covers Clean Language and two related processes: Symbolic Modeling and Clean Space. Join me this Tuesday April 7th at 1:00 PM Eastern/10AM Pacific for Beyond Lip Service at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/beyondlipservice
 

Friend, would you recognize a "good client" if you saw one?
A pulse and a checkbook should not be the only requirements.

Do you frequently accept a client you THOUGHT was going to be right for you…only to discover down the road that they’re costing you time, frustration and maybe even money?

Just like in dating, there has to be compatibility in your client relationships.

This is why it’s CRUCIAL for you to figure out early on, whether your potential client is someone who you can do your best work with—someone who energizes and inspires you.

What’s going on here?

To answer, I want to point out, first and foremost, we are all human beings… just know that the less-than-ideal client for us will be ideal for someone else.

The key is to RECOGNIZE an ideal client when you meet one, so you don’t waste time (theirs or your) forming a client relationship that will be a struggle.

Why is this important?

If you can tell early on that a potential lead is RIGHT for you, you won’t waste weeks, months or years trying to "change" them or you into something neither of you are.

There are 3 profound truths about client relationships:

1. The client you CHOOSE is the one you GET.
2. YOU are ultimately responsible for your desperation or inspiration — because you selected the client.
3. You can’t change a client or "make" them ideal. The client has their own way, based on their own internal and external needs, desires, motivations and goals.

Take a moment right now and ask yourself: “What qualities would “my ideal client” absolutely need to possess in order for me to do my best work with them?”

Be honest and don’t worry about excluding people, yet remember that qualities are not circumstances… Circumstances change, qualities rarely do.

Have a great day whatever your adventure

To Success! To Life!

Sharon

I just read an article by Joel Spolsky on multi-tasking and computers. He really opened my eyes to the downside of the law of exponential growth.

For years, yes years, I thought I was getting more done by doing multiple things at once. Seems efficient, right. WRONG! It really does take more time to do multiple tasks then to do one task at a time.

Now, Joel is a computer guy—develops software. He has a great analogy that even a non-computer person can relate to, so I will paraphrase it here-

“…You have two computations to perform, A and B. Each computation requires 10 seconds of computer time.

You can either do computation A to completion, then B (one after the other) or you can multi-task.

For the sake of this argument, let’s say, if you ask the computer to multi-task, having task A run one second, then switch to task B for one second, then switch back to task A for one second… and the task switch will take no time at all. Now, we all know that never happens when we perform tasks, getting “back up to speed” does take time, but play along…

In both cases, you have to wait 20 seconds to get both of your answers to A and B. But think about how long it takes to get the results to each (A and B) computation.

With multitasking, the results take 19 seconds to arrive… yet with sequential processing each result, A and then B are ready in only 10 seconds each.

He takes his computations further and assumes each task switch would take one-minute. So, the computer would use 80 seconds when doing A and then B sequentially (20 seconds for the two, A and B tasks and 60 seconds for the switch)… a little over a minute.

But this is what happens in multi-tasking, add the 20 separate one-second tasks and 19 one-minute switches. (20 seconds + 19 task switches = 1160 seconds) That’s OVER nineteen minutes!"

Consider the exponential growth factors… Enough said! No more multi-tasking for me.

Thanks Joel, to read the whole article and learn more go to http://www.joelonsoftware.com/articles/fog0000000022.html

Have a great day whatever your adventure.

To Success! To Life!

Sharon

All sales start with a simple conversation. It may be a conversation between you and a potential customer, or even between one of your clients and a potential referral. You just never know how far your reach can extend. So it is important to turn all of these simple conversations into relationships of trust. Trust happens over time.

We know that people buy from those they like and trust and if you don’t have trust, then it doesn’t matter how well you’ve planned, what you’re offering, if they don’t trust you, nothing else matters. They aren’t going to buy from you—period. All sales are made when a need is met and trust is assured.

(Last Tuesday on Beyond Lip Service—Impression Engineers Blog Talk Radio Show Tuesday’s at 10am Pacific—Coach Davender Gupta and I talked about “What is Trust?” If you didn’t get to listen in, you can hear it on our blog on BlogTalkRadio.com/BeyondLipService)

So how do you build trust?

An effective marketing strategy for building trust and a true relationship over time is “the always-have-something-to-invite-people-to-offer.” Perhaps your services are expensive or the tangibles are not readily apparent (whether you think they are or not.)

Perhaps your leads do not understand what you offer or perhaps they have not had good results with their previous service providers. The “always have something to invite them to offer,” creates a no or low cost offer to potential clients to begin to build a relationship with you.

Now I’m not recommending offering free services, which I don’t recommend, and unfortunately, is still a common practice. The potential client must know your product or service does have value, however there are many educational resources built around your products or services that can be made into a no-cost offer. A no-cost offer is one that has no risk whatsoever for a potential client so that they can sample your services. An example: Impression Engineers “always-have-something-to-invite-people-to-offers” are the BlogTalkRadio.com/BeyondLipService show, the free reports we offer on our website and this e-newsletter “Best Impressions.”

Think about it, people usually hate to be sold, but they love to receive invitations. Don’t you?

Remember the key to the “always-have-something-to-invite-people-to-offer” is that it must be relevant to your target market. Some ideas for no or low cost invitations are:

• A financial planner could do a teleseminar in a simple Q&A format about preserving and building wealth in this economy, then take those Q and As gathered and create a free resource page on their website.

• A Realtor® can offer a teleseminar to real estate investor with tips or updates on the neighborhood trends.  A low-cost event might be to me
• t in one of your listings for a live event. Ask clients to bring a new friend every week. Each week or month a new location would be chosen and include a social event afterwards.
• An Interior Designer can offer a monthly makeover webinar using pre-selected photos sent in by interested participants, then turn the webinar into learning modules for their website or YouTube.
• An Accountant can offer quarterly teleseminars or conference calls that focus on the latest in tax saving measures and better bookkeeping.

The value you add in your offer needs to meet the needs and desires of the people you serve. Then over time, trust is built up and through your follow up and by offering additional value and creating awareness for the services you provide, you’ll attract potential clients closer to your core services and products.
 
Remember, your potential clients must know that you know. They must really like you and trust that you have the solutions to their very personal, specific, and urgent problems. The single best way to do that is to invite them to experience what it’s like to be around you and the people you serve.

If you are ready to create your ideal “Always have something to invite them to offer” Impression Engineers and Magnetic Marketing are offering a 3-part teleseminar with Speaker’s Business Coach Sharon Sayler and Master Telesseminar Coach Cara Lumen three Tuesdays – Jan 20, Jan 27 and Feb 3 11 AM Pacific / 2 PM Eastern titled:

IF YOU ARE REALLY READY TO LEARN HOW TO DEVELOP AND DELIVER A MAGNETIC TELECLASS THIS IS THE CLASS FOR YOU. This is not just hype and talk, this class will get you ready to roll…

Click here if you are ready, let’s get the powerful marketing tool going for you too!

Take advantage of our Holiday Special and save 33% good through December 24.
Get started on your next teleseminar for just $99

Sign up today at http://www.impressionengineers.com/deliver-a-magnetic-teleclass/ to get your 

BONUS GIFTS

BEFORE THE CLASS ALL REGISTERED STUDENTS WILL GET OUR TWO POWERFUL EBOOKS TO HELP YOU DESIGN YOUR MAGNETIC TELECLASS

   1. "Twelve Steps to Teleseminar Rapport Success" by Sharon Sayler

   2.  "Make Your Point, Creating Dynamic Outlines for Talks, Teleclasses, Articles and Ebooks" by Cara Lumen

PLUS, THE FIRST FIVE SIGN UPS WILL GET A BONUS OF TWO 15 MINUTE  PRIVATE COACHING CALLS WITH CARA AND SHARON AFTER THE CLASS

   1. On the first 15-minute call with Coach Cara she will work with you to strengthen your 45-60 second teleseminar script.

   2. Then on the second 15-minute call Coach Sharon will guide you in delivering it and record it for you.  We will send you the recording to have your own unique MP3 audio recording to promote your class!!!!

I was at the city permit department Tuesday, not where you expect to find excellent customer service, but I did.  So, I took a moment to get the name of his supervisor and send his supervisor a note expressing my appreciation for his employee’s excellent service. Not only do people like others who show kindness, you know, when I take a couple of minutes to write a quick note, it makes me feel happy too.  Studies show that expressions of gratitude have “significant and consistent improvements” on our worldview and on achieving optimal psychological functioning.” ^*

When the opportunity presents itself consider a sincere letter of appreciation. It’ll make you feel good!

Five Tips to Writing / Showing Your Appreciation:

1. Write it soon after your experience.
2. Be sincere, concise and specific about why you are writing. Giving the full name, if possible, of who you are writing about.
3. Address your appreciation letter to a specific manager. You wouldn’t want the letter to get lost in the shuffle of “who would this go to?”
4. A handwritten card always carries more weight on the sincerity meter than an email. I like the Send Out Card system. Although it’s not really handwritten, it looks like it… (Send a free card on us, let someone know you appreciate them today)
5. Write a simple close, no need to get too flowery…

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. Share appreciation today.

Have a great day whatever your adventure
To Success! To Life!
Sharon

p.s. Great things are happening here at Impression Engineers. We will have our own Blog Talk Radio Show called Beyond Lip Service: Business and communication solutions – commentary and interviews with dynamic communicators on practical skills of influence, inspiration and persuasive managing, presenting, marketing and copy. Join us on December 2 at 10am Pacific as we interview Gary Phillips, a management communications specialist.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/beyondlipservice

^{* Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life by Robert A. Emmons and Michael E McCullough, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology Copyright 2003 by the American Psychological Association, Inc., 2003, Vol.84}