I attended a big local event the other day. By using the Book Yourself Solid Networking Strategy, I had stellar success meeting new people. 

BYS Networking is not about getting business. It’s about sharing your intangibles; e.g. your network, your knowledge, your compassion. The most successful way to share your intangibles is by encouraging others. The easy steps to encourage others is:

1. Show genuine interest.  “Genuine” is the key word here. If you are faking, your non-verbals will give you away…  Just met them and you aren’t sure how to express genuine interest? Ask thoughtful questions.

2. Acknowledge what they say. Listen to their answers. Acknowledge what’s important to them. This is not a time to argue or do the typically, “I know what you mean…now listen to my story….”

Acknowledge or paraphrase what they said. If necessary, perhaps offer a reframe. E.g.; If you hear “ Fifty pounds is alot, I let myself get so heavy…I still have to lose 30 pounds,” offer a reframe “Losing 20 is such an accomplishment, sounds like you are on a roll. Way-to-go!” A well-placed, congrats or way-to-go can be just the ticket to boost confidence.

Once you acknowledge, share your intangibles.
Sharing your intangibles is not about being a “know-it-all.” Don’t charge in with “What you need is…. Here again, genuine is the key.

Your network: Offer to lend a hand. Gently, yet proactively refer someone from your network. This doesn’t have to be business related, perhaps they mentioned golf and you have a great golf shop contact… 

Your knowledge: Give of your accumulated knowledge. Here is where the “know-it-all” can emerge. Use language that moves the knowledge away from you as the expert, such as “I was reading the other day…” or “I heard ‘X’ on the radio and maybe that might work in your situation.”

Your compassion: Respond with something unexpected.  It can be genuine compassion or empathy in the moment, or if more appropriate as a follow-up. It’s unfortunate, yet compassion may startle people these days…  One easy way to show your compassion is this cool, new keep-in-touch tool we use—Best Impression Cards from SendOutCards.com.

We think it is so cool, we have set-up a webpage where you can send out a free card—just to see for yourself… Send someone, even yourself, a card and learn more about all the ways you can use Best Impression Cards from SendOutCards.com. 

Imagine the impact. Out of the blue, a couple of days after this event I attended, someone you just met gets a personalized “Nice to Meet You” card. This is a real card, not an e-card. I just sent one so personalized that I mentioned the event and where we met “…it is so funny, you never know who you will meet in the ladies room…” I closed with wishing her all the best with the impeding birth of her new son. By being genuine, showing up in the world with who we are and what we stand for, is how we can have maximum impact.

Imagine with the holidays coming up being able to send real cards to all your clients, friends and family for 63 cents each + postage. (With the holidays being so “PC” now-a-days,) consider sending a Thanksgiving card to all your family, friends and  clients thanking them—you can even upload your logo or photos and make personalized cards. Too cool!

Go right now to SEND MY F*R*E*E Card to send a card and see what I mean…

After you send out your free card, email me and let me show you all the neat features, including gifts… One of my favorites is sending a gift card to a well-known coffee shop. Just the other day, I had exceptional service and I immediately sent not only the fellow that gave me the service a card, but his boss too. I think I have a friend for life.

Enjoy the Adventure!

To Success! To Life!

Sharon

Sometimes a character from a movie just utters a great line that makes you stop and think…

"There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path."

Who are you? What do you stand for? More importantly, how do you show what you stand for to the world? I had to answer those questions while in Philly last week for my certification in the Book Yourself Solid Coaching Program. One of the basic premises of the Book Yourself Solid System is to know who you are, what you do and why you do it.

So, why is this important to know about yourself?

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

Standing for something takes action. Agreeing with something and standing for it is not the same thing. "Standing for" requires a choice and action, sometimes a difficult choice. Yet knowing who you are, what you do and why you stand for it makes all other choices easier (but not always easy to live by….)

"Bruce, deep down you may still be that same great kid you used to be.  But it’s not who you are underneath… it’s what you do that defines you."

It can take time to sort out our beliefs, needs and desires to get to know what we stand for–but once you do put into action what you stand for, your goals align. Reflect out into the world what you know is true. Be the beacon for others. Commit fully to the adventure of life. Coach others how to share their brilliance with the world.

Enjoy the adventure
To Success! To Life!
Sharon

p.s. There are 4 movie quotes above. Name the 4 characters and the 4 movies. The first 3 people to email me at support@livepassionatelysociety.com with the correct answers will receive a copy of my new book "Life’s Short. Live Passionately."  Have fun!

I shouldn’t watch the news anymore… I was watching the hearing on what will be done to fix the current state of sad affairs and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing… to paraphrase, because I don’t write word for word notes while livid…

“We’ve done a lot of thinking about it and that seems like the best number.”
Yeah, seven hundred billion has always sounded like a good number to go after for me too… I’ll put that on my "to-do" list.

“It’s got to work, it’s too big to fail.” Come-on… give me a break, nothing is too big to fail… It might be too important to fail, but nothing is never "too big to fail!" I found myself screaming at the TV “OMG, these people that we’ve put in charge don’t know what the hell they are doing!”  Okay, enough ranting, back to us down here in the trenches…

I think we all know people that are experiencing difficult times these days. People are mad, sad, worried about work and life… so I want to start a brainstorm-type of conversation with you today. I pose two vital and serious questions that we can all learn from each other with. Please feel free to answer one or both or pose another question for us to ponder…

• What is the one thing that you are most afraid of that could put you out of business before the end of 2009? (Do you realize that is only 462 days away.)

• What is one thing you are or can do to get through these times? Big or little, doesn’t matter, share with us. My friend Jim told me yesterday, he was having fun (and saving money) making his own peanut butter.

Please share in the comments section of our blog! I really want to get a movement going here. Think Big on sharing what you know! It’s time we pitch in together. Less competition, more collaboration!

To get our conversation going I offer 3 free things we can all do.

1. Talk to someone. We are not alone in this. Share your concerns and success. Encourage others, a little known fact is while you are encouraging others you are actually changing your mood as well.

2. Try not to dwell on the negatives, instead use that time to get a back up plan going.

3. Laugh. Watch a funny movie. Look through old family photos and wonder whatever was I thinking when I wore my hair that way or picked that outfit. Share fun memories.

I will always remember when Adam was about 14, he announced he was joining the downhill ski-racing team (having little skiing experience.) Over my gasps of WHAT!  I heard “Yeah mom… Life sometimes sucks. Buy a helmet. Adapt and Overcome! (Four years later he placed in the state championship finals… )

Hang in there everyone. It will get better.

Have a great day in whatever your adventure,
To Success! To Life!
Sharon

Grab a copy of Sharon’s latest book…

Written straight from the heart, Sharon Sayler’s Life’s Short Live Passionately invites us to know that within each of us is a life full of joy, success and passion. Your passion can change the world—but only when you make the choice to take action.

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
–Randy Pausch

Word came this morning that Randy Pausch has died. What a great loss. Even though I never personally met Mr. Pausch, he was an inspiration to me.  Mr. Pausch, a 47-year-old husband, father of three young children, and computer science professor made his impact on millions as the author of “The Last Lecture.”

His enthusiasm for life was inspiring. He embodied many of the attitudes of life that the Live Passionately Society and I believe in. First, it is a life of choice. You can chose to be happy; you can choose to be sad. You can chose to wallow or to get moving… Your life is your choice. Second, share gratitude and appreciation… I could go on, but this quote says it all.

“Time is all you have. And you may find one day that you have less time than you think.” - Randy Pausch

Our thoughts and prayers go out to Mr. Pausch’s family. We wish them time, comfort, and peace of mind in knowing that their loved one made a very positive difference in the world. Randy, thank you for being an example to us all.

If you haven’t seen "The Last Lecture,"  it is an excellent investment of one hour.
Below is a 12 minute excerpt from Randy Pausch reprising his inspirational "Last Lecture" on the Oprah Show (Oct 22, 2007).

Or order the DVD or book:

    * To order a DVD of the lecture, visit the Randy Pausch Lecture site: https://www.randypauschdvd.com/
    * To order the book online.

"See the full-length version of this short Oprah Show reprise at www.cs.virginia.edu/robins/Randy. Randy Pausch (www.randypausch.com) is a virtual reality pioneer, human-computer interaction researcher, co-founder of CMU’s Entertainment Technology Center (www.etc.cmu.edu), and creator of the Alice (www.alice.org) software project.
High-resolution downloadable versions of Randy’s videos can be found at www.cs.virginia.edu/robins/Randy"

Good Day to You

This was originally posted on our sister site Impression Engineers. I thought it was valuable info and wanted to make sure you had a chance to see it. This posting is geared towards business, but I’m sure you can see how it adapts to all areas of life… After reading it share your thoughts with me on resolving conflict.

Is Your Business coming to a Screaming Halt?

The workplace is under pressure these days. Many companies are feeling extra stress as the economic downturn continues. This extra stress can lead to conflict in the workplace, but it doesn’t have to. Often thought of as negative, conflict can lead to constructive change.

Understanding what I call “Chair 2” (the other guy) is key. Before jumping to any conclusions as tension rises, ask yourself the following questions—

• What are his* needs in this situation? Does he need more information or resources to be successful? Or, is it on the emotional level as a need for a feeling of safety, or more control?

• Is his work and style different than mine? Is he more reactive or proactive? Does he enjoy risk or tranquility? Is he performing a function outside of his job requirements or expertise?

• What are his expectations and perceptions of this situation? What does he expect to happen? What does he want to happen?  In what ways may he perceive what is happening? Does he feel respected and valued? Does he need latitude or rules?

• What are some possible outcomes he wants from this conflict? What would be the best resolution for him? Does he view the situation as win-win or a lose-lose? Has he placed himself in the role of victim or a “have-not?”

• Are other conflicts affecting this one? It may be conflicts of time, scheduling, money, resources, company policies even personalities or different personal values.

• Is this a power struggle? Most of us have experienced situations where associates have wielded their power in inappropriate ways. Is this situation a power struggle for territory, resources, attention… Power struggles often cause intentional or unintentional aggressive or passive-aggressive (sabotage) behavior.

As with so many things, it is in how we perceive what is happening that determines the outcome. The more information and “views” we can acknowledge, the better the resolution will be for all.
 
As you identify what caused the conflict, it is easier to choose the best strategy to move towards resolution.

Have a great day in whatever your adventure

To Success! To Life!

Sharon

* For ease of reading, I have chosen to use as a generic the word “he.” This in no way implies “she” can not experience conflict.

A Question from Impression Engineers:  Who’s watching your store?

Keeping your website up-to-date and relevant is the most important web survival strategy. Today’s consumers are looking for information and they want it now. I’m sure you’ve done it too…you use Google to look for something and up comes millions of opportunities to find what you are looking for….

It is all-to-easy to click away if your site isn’t relevant. It is especially damaging to your image if you last updated your site months or even years ago! We know that some of you enjoy updating your site yourself. That’s why Adam developed the web content management system we use.

All our web and ecommerce sites are custom designed to your individual needs. Our content management system is user-friendly. Once complete, the beauty of our sites is that the content can be updated easily, even without any web-formatting experience.  Once set-up, there is no monthly charges to use the system.

Others of you like to focus on what you do best and leave the “web-stuff” to us. Many clients have found that they either don’t have the time or desire to maintain their site. To get the maximum "bang-for-your-buck" ongoing updates and maintenance is strongly suggested…

We have a maintenance plan that works great for each one of you!

We offer maintenance by the hour or by monthly contract. The monthly contract advantage is the huge savings over our hourly rate and your maintenance requests are assured to be first in line. The advantage to us—we can plan for your work each month assuring you will have our personal attention and quicker turn around for your projects.

To discuss your particular needs please click here to schedule an Internet marketing consultation.