Live Passionately Society

Last week, I wrote about "You are what you believe." I wanted to expand on it a bit, as some may have gotten the mistaken "belief" that all beliefs are negative. Nothing could be further from the truth. Beliefs are just beliefs, just as thoughts are just thoughts. It is in how we chose to act upon them that makes the difference.

All of us have beliefs. The same thought or belief can serve us as an asset or liability. It just depends on the context that the thought or belief comes about.  We are not consciously aware of most of our beliefs. A belief is something you accept as true. It may have no basis in truth, yet you accept it to be true. When the belief has little or no basis in truth, it is called a limiting belief.

The problem with a limiting belief is that it does just that—it limits us. Research has shown that the job of the subconscious mind is to make what we believe come true in our lives—think about it as a self-fulfilling prophecy…

Byron Katie, author of "Loving What Is" has an useful 4-step process of personal inquiry to help identify and question thoughts and beliefs.* The four-steps are:

1. Is it true?

2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

4. Who would you be without the thought?

Then you “turn-it-around,” meaning develop three examples of opposites of your original thought/belief and see if what you were judging is really true.

"Only if you imagine that the rope is a snake does your heart start pounding. It’s your thoughts that scare you into fight-or-flight-not reality." ~ Ms. Byron Katie
More information about Byron Katie can be found at www.thework.com/  I have found her books and processes very helpful.

Have a great day in whatever your adventure,
To Success! To Life!
Sharon

You Are What You Believe

 “Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours.” ~ Richard Bach, author

Saturday morning at a coaches debriefing session from a week-long workshop, I was surprised to hear one of the group say, “I’m not ready yet. It has to be perfect.”  From the "outside," this is someone that I see as extremely competent to do what they say they could not do yet.

Perfect does not happen overnight. Perfect comes from trail and error, from experience. An “expert,” (if there is such a thing,) comes from the learnings discovered while making all the mistakes that can be made in your own area of "expertise." It takes the time that it takes…suffering through it is optional. One of my mentors, Michael Grinder, likes to say, “It’s not about perfection. It is how well you can recover.”

So, if you think you can’t do something, you can’t. If you think you can, you can.

Have a great day in whatever your adventure.
To Success! To Life!
Sharon

"If you think you can, or if you think you can’t, either way, you’re right." ~Henry Ford~

Sometimes, some of our biggest obstacles our ourselves. Our presuppositions and preconceived notions about what we can and can’t do, our limiting beliefs, and how sometimes, the parts of us that stop us from achieving success. Finding these, voices, notions and beliefs can be tricky. The mind is good at hiding them from our conscious self.  As we begin to notice and change these beliefs you may start to bump into your secret and not-so-secret fears.

Your mind is quite content in the comfort zone.  But to change and get what you want, you need to leave that comfort zone. As you begin to focus on noticing your beliefs, the will become easier and easier to find.
 
After a day or two’s reflection, what are some of your beliefs about the outcome you are pursuing–both positive and negative beliefs?  Get them down on paper.

Did any of your responses surprise you?  Challenge a couple of these beliefs. As you begin to identify and examine each one, ask yourself:

* Is it true? Does this make sense?

* Where did I learn this idea? As I think about a belief is it my voice or someone else’s? E.g. mom, teacher, dad…

* How does believing this idea affect me?

* Does it help me or hold me back?  How?

Awareness is the first step in changing any pattern of behavior. As you go about your day today, just notice how many of these old beliefs have worked their way into your "operating system."

Have a great day in whatever your adventure
To Success! To Life!
Sharon

Finally had a few moments of nice weather here in the Northwest. I planted a few blossoms. It’s been a late spring and many have been in a sour mood around here. Your attitude can spread like wildflowers or weeds

If your life has become root-bound and you have stopped growing, it is time to re-pot.
~Lucy MacDonald~

Develop a positive attitude

The way you think does affect your life. Listen to yourself sometime. What is your "self-talk" saying? Is much of it negative? Your self-talk may be affecting you.

Free yourself from negative self-talk. Remember you are in charge of yourself and your thoughts. Next time you hear negative self-talk in your head, take a moment, breathe and consciously shift.

Positive self-talk may start as a series of "baby-steps," but soon the negative will be replaced by the positive. Consider a couple of these ideas when you want a more positive attitude:

• Own your feelings. They are part of you. Accept them and commit to changing them.

• Rewrite your negative self-talk. Take a piece of paper and jot down the negative thoughts that are running through your head. Now, right under it state that same thought, but in the positive. E.g. “How stupid can I be. I ate that whole cake” rewritten "I re-commit to eating healthy.”

• Give voice to the self-talk. Find a friend or counselor. Ask  permission to  vent for a while. Holding it in can lead to frustration, hurt, anger… Once done, state it in the positive and be done with it.

• Find the humor in the negative situation. Some of the funniest stories are based on bad times. Recount the situation in a humorous letter to a friend.

• Walk the dog, call a friend, volunteer, read a book, take a bubble bath or just blow bubbles…