Big WOO! HOO! Everybody!

The book “Life’s Short. Live Passionately.” is finally in my hot little hands! Amazing. I’ve been working on it so long, I began to think it would never be complete… always many lessons learned when you do anything—from this project I learned (or re-learned):

1. Even if you plan that it will take longer than you think, it always takes longer than you planned and think…
2. When you see the finish line at about 98% finished, you really are only about 50% done.
3. There is no perfection. No matter how perfect it is when it leaves your hands, there will always be something you will want to add, delete or change…

I’ve already taken the plunge into my next book, about better communication in the workplace. This time, I think I will try the aim and fire approach. Planning is important, and patience is a virtue but living life is the perfect teacher.  You’ll probably read how that idea of plan less is going soon…

So, “Life’s Short. Live Passionately.” is finally ready. It’s an easy read. No “chapter” is over 2 pages long… since you already read our newsletters you probably know I like to write short and to the heart of the matter… Life’s too short to spend your time turning too many pages for the author to get to the point…

In “Life’s Short. Live Passionately.” you’ll discover life lessons that make a difference.

• Understand the dynamics of why fear stops people.
• The presuppositions of Living Passionately and how to embrace them.
• The ways that get to the heart of the matter faster, easier and without blame! 
• The 4 most important steps to take when setting goals. Set goals that will succeed.
• The 5 keys to know when enough is enough.
• The simple steps to not be disappointed again. And much, much more…

Whether you are 10 years old or 100, this book will help you create your life, your way.

An excerpt is available at Excerpt

As a little official launch celebration and a special thank you to you—I’ve got it at a special super secret price for the next 5 days. It’s almost a give away, so let’s not let Adam know that I put it on sale… If you are interested, grab a copy right now.

Have a great day in whatever your adventure,
To Success! To Life!
Sharon

It seems to me these days that most people are complaining about something… usually something that is really none of their business…. I’m not here to talk politics, but does it really matter if someone’s hair is out-of-style—out-of-style according to whom??? Maybe it’s coming back in style, does it really matter?

I have an acquaintance that complains about everything, the server’s voice tone is not friendly enough, the soup is too hot… nothing is ever okay – except of course – he’s perfect, if you ask him.  It’s the mindset that matters.  If a mindset is in the “something is always wrong” mode, or "everybody’s wrong but me" mode, than that is what they will always find.

Mindset is contagious, so be careful. If you hang out with nay-sayers, you may find yourself being negative too. What you allow your mind to dwell on you get more of.

Reward the positive

Instead of focusing on the negative, build the habit of rewarding the positive. At the end of the day write down your successes and the successes of those you love and care about.

Keep a Success or Gratitude Journal.  It is often easy to forget the positive and dwell on the negative. Typically we focus on the negative because it needs fixing. The positive does not need the extra focus, so it is easy to dismiss and move onto the next “problem.” 

Make a habit of focusing on the positive—there is positive in every situation. You can also use your Journal to clearly defined what is wanted, things that the grateful mind can come to expect, such as " increase cash flow by creating more referral business." Gratitude, praise and appreciation for our self and others works miracles.

“Reward the negative with attention, you get more negative. Reward the positive with attention,  you get more positive.” ~Source unknown, but greatly appreciated~

Visit livepassionatelysociety.com for your Success and Gratitude Journal and Success Sheets

Have a great day in whatever your adventure
To Success! To Life!

Norman Cousins once said, “Life is an adventure in forgiveness.” These are some of the truest words I have heard. We each have something or someone to forgive. Some may even feel they are owed an apology—you have the power to choose to be resentful, heartsick, to be burdened, dissatisfied, full of worry and anxiety, to be calm, satisfied, happy, to be passionate. It’s all a choice.

Life is in constant motion. The thoughts you choose to dwell on can keep you stuck or move you towards your purposes and passions. The key to passionate living is to choose without “shoulds.”  Respect your boundaries. Respect other’s boundaries.

Learn from what happened. You have no control over what anyone else feels or thinks. When there’s mutual respect, "working things through" can heal. If you feel threatened, withdrawal from the situation may be a viable option.

Be honorable and intend the best for everyone, including your self. Only when you’re at peace can you make a real contribution to anyone. Holding tightly to an offense, no matter how heinous it was, is like feeding your self poison and waiting for the other person to die. It just doesn’t work.

Have a great day in whatever your adventure,
To Success! To Life!
Sharon

A good friend, Gary Phillips, recently posted the following article on his blog. I found it so interesting I contacted Gary to share it with all our readers… Gary is a Safety Professional, the article is targeted to his clients, I’m sure you will see that his knowledge expands far beyond safety in the workplace.

Changing the Language of Safety –

by guest author Gary Phillips
Author of  The Art of Safety 

Presuppositions

One critical linguistic structure, related to the concept that the brain is literal and people’s attention will go where directed, is the phenomenon of presuppositions. These are utterances, or phrases, that carry with them something that is already presupposed by that phrase. If the receiver does not challenge the utterance immediately, it generally means that, at the unconscious level, they have “bought into” the presupposition.

Here is 1 example of a presupposition.

“Can I help you?” - When someone walks into your office and you say, “How can I help you?” it presupposes you’re the helper and you’re in charge of the helping process. Then, who is helpless? The other person is.

As soon as they, in response, utter a single syllable, without challenging the presupposition, they’ve unconsciously “bought into” this relationship of dependency. This only reinforces traditional approaches that the leader is responsible for safety behavior, not the worker. “How can I help you?” creates dependant people. Avoid creating dependant people.

Avoid asking, “How can I help you?” A better, neutral question is “What’s up”, no presupposition implied. Dealing with this presupposition has broad applicability, well beyond safety applications. The Art of Safety also expands on why verbally presented information further creates dependency, while visual information empowers.

Even the most practiced leaders and professionals are often unaware of how they come across both verbally and non-verbally, and how they create the reality of the workplace by shaping how it’s experienced.

Small improvements in communication techniques pay big dividends in maintaining positive relationships and error-free performance.

Have a great day in whatever your adventure,
To Success! To Life!
Sharon

Gary is a Safety Professional, consultant and trainer with decades of experience applying advanced communication skills to the fields of Occupational Safety and Leadership Development. From his home in the cottage country of Northern Ontario he offers services worldwide through NW Training and Development and is a widely sought after speaker and trainer. Gary Phillips is available for conference and workshop presentations. Visit www.artofsafety.net or call (888) 622-9653.

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
–Randy Pausch

Word came this morning that Randy Pausch has died. What a great loss. Even though I never personally met Mr. Pausch, he was an inspiration to me.  Mr. Pausch, a 47-year-old husband, father of three young children, and computer science professor made his impact on millions as the author of “The Last Lecture.”

His enthusiasm for life was inspiring. He embodied many of the attitudes of life that the Live Passionately Society and I believe in. First, it is a life of choice. You can chose to be happy; you can choose to be sad. You can chose to wallow or to get moving… Your life is your choice. Second, share gratitude and appreciation… I could go on, but this quote says it all.

“Time is all you have. And you may find one day that you have less time than you think.” - Randy Pausch

Our thoughts and prayers go out to Mr. Pausch’s family. We wish them time, comfort, and peace of mind in knowing that their loved one made a very positive difference in the world. Randy, thank you for being an example to us all.

If you haven’t seen "The Last Lecture,"  it is an excellent investment of one hour.
Below is a 12 minute excerpt from Randy Pausch reprising his inspirational "Last Lecture" on the Oprah Show (Oct 22, 2007).

Or order the DVD or book:

    * To order a DVD of the lecture, visit the Randy Pausch Lecture site: https://www.randypauschdvd.com/
    * To order the book online.

"See the full-length version of this short Oprah Show reprise at www.cs.virginia.edu/robins/Randy. Randy Pausch (www.randypausch.com) is a virtual reality pioneer, human-computer interaction researcher, co-founder of CMU’s Entertainment Technology Center (www.etc.cmu.edu), and creator of the Alice (www.alice.org) software project.
High-resolution downloadable versions of Randy’s videos can be found at www.cs.virginia.edu/robins/Randy"

We just love to write Beyond Lip Service: full of life resources and ideas, in between writing Best Impressions: our business ideas, tips, and tricks e-zine. Thanks for your support as we continue to grow and improve the ways we can be of service to you and your success. If you like what you read, please share it with others.

Over the Edge

I hate to admit it, but I really “went over the edge” with someone the other day… you see, they are chronically late. This time, I allowed their tardiness to take me from the present moment into frustration. It was just one time too many, the proverbially straw that broke the camel’s back. My concentration wandered for the next two hours between looking at the clock and work.

Oh, I had plenty to fill my time, that wasn’t the point. It was my righteous indignation of the two hours I waited for their presence. Those moments ticked by as I took each tick on the clock as a personal affront. I wandered between frustration to they didn’t respect me to feeling unimportant. Upon their arrival, I let it be known loud and clear… not a pretty picture to say the least.

Yes, I allowed the incident to happen. I know I cannot change anyone else but myself. I admit that I know this person is almost always late—so why was I surprised this time…? I could have called and canceled, postponed or made other arrangements. Instead I stayed in frustration and hurt and allowed myself to fly straight into anger.

Anger is a secondary emotion. To get angry, typically, you have to feel hurt, frustrated or frightened. Once you determine the base cause, you have a choice to change how you think and feel about the situation. This time, I had allowed myself to make a choice based on patterns built and used over time.

My response was not congruent with who I want to be. Next time I will, step back into the present moment and look at the situation. With curiosity, (and in third person) look back at myself, over there, and examine the hurt and frustration and be open to the choices I could make in that situation.

If you find your self in a similar situation, explore your thoughts and feelings. Thank yourself for paying attention. Step back before going over the edge and set an intention to resolve the situation. (If the events that lead to anger revolve around any type of danger, emotional or physical, apply liberal doses of appreciation for the chance to open your eyes to something new.) Really experience how you feel about what’s happening around you, without judgment. Awareness is the key to all change.

That evening I came upon this quote — ironic how you see things from a different perspective if you open to the opportunity.

"Lost, yesterday, somewhere between sunrise and sunset, two golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes. No reward is offered for they are gone forever." ~Horace Mann~

Have a great day in whatever your adventure.
To Success! To Life!

p.s. I liked the Horace Mann quote so much I made it into a printable pdf. To get it, enter your details below and we will send it to you.

p.p.s. The book finally made it to the printer — every thing takes longer than you think— funny, that is what my wayward friend told me upon his arrival too… Anyway, it should be available in about 3 weeks! If you want one of the first copies, I have a special price for all of my friends and loyal readers. See the special offer—23% off (my lucky number.)

Sharon Sayler is a communications consultant. She works with executives to enhance their verbal and non-verbal skills to achieve their personal and professional goals. A sought-after speaker, Sharon teaches others to make conscious choices to create the life they want and deserve. Enjoy her enjoy her e-zine/blog “Beyond Lip Service” at livepassionatelysociety.com it is filled with ideas to help you create a life that matters to you.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEBSITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Marketing success strategist, business writer, consultant, and coach, Impression Engineer’s Sharon Sayler publishes the weekly newsletter Best Impressions! to subscribers world-wide. Ms. Sayler delivers targeted marketing and business solutions, tips, tricks and practical skills to small businesses with big dreams. Visit www.impressionengineers.com

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Good Day to You

This was originally posted on our sister site Impression Engineers. I thought it was valuable info and wanted to make sure you had a chance to see it. This posting is geared towards business, but I’m sure you can see how it adapts to all areas of life… After reading it share your thoughts with me on resolving conflict.

Is Your Business coming to a Screaming Halt?

The workplace is under pressure these days. Many companies are feeling extra stress as the economic downturn continues. This extra stress can lead to conflict in the workplace, but it doesn’t have to. Often thought of as negative, conflict can lead to constructive change.

Understanding what I call “Chair 2” (the other guy) is key. Before jumping to any conclusions as tension rises, ask yourself the following questions—

• What are his* needs in this situation? Does he need more information or resources to be successful? Or, is it on the emotional level as a need for a feeling of safety, or more control?

• Is his work and style different than mine? Is he more reactive or proactive? Does he enjoy risk or tranquility? Is he performing a function outside of his job requirements or expertise?

• What are his expectations and perceptions of this situation? What does he expect to happen? What does he want to happen?  In what ways may he perceive what is happening? Does he feel respected and valued? Does he need latitude or rules?

• What are some possible outcomes he wants from this conflict? What would be the best resolution for him? Does he view the situation as win-win or a lose-lose? Has he placed himself in the role of victim or a “have-not?”

• Are other conflicts affecting this one? It may be conflicts of time, scheduling, money, resources, company policies even personalities or different personal values.

• Is this a power struggle? Most of us have experienced situations where associates have wielded their power in inappropriate ways. Is this situation a power struggle for territory, resources, attention… Power struggles often cause intentional or unintentional aggressive or passive-aggressive (sabotage) behavior.

As with so many things, it is in how we perceive what is happening that determines the outcome. The more information and “views” we can acknowledge, the better the resolution will be for all.
 
As you identify what caused the conflict, it is easier to choose the best strategy to move towards resolution.

Have a great day in whatever your adventure

To Success! To Life!

Sharon

* For ease of reading, I have chosen to use as a generic the word “he.” This in no way implies “she” can not experience conflict.

A Question from Impression Engineers:  Who’s watching your store?

Keeping your website up-to-date and relevant is the most important web survival strategy. Today’s consumers are looking for information and they want it now. I’m sure you’ve done it too…you use Google to look for something and up comes millions of opportunities to find what you are looking for….

It is all-to-easy to click away if your site isn’t relevant. It is especially damaging to your image if you last updated your site months or even years ago! We know that some of you enjoy updating your site yourself. That’s why Adam developed the web content management system we use.

All our web and ecommerce sites are custom designed to your individual needs. Our content management system is user-friendly. Once complete, the beauty of our sites is that the content can be updated easily, even without any web-formatting experience.  Once set-up, there is no monthly charges to use the system.

Others of you like to focus on what you do best and leave the “web-stuff” to us. Many clients have found that they either don’t have the time or desire to maintain their site. To get the maximum "bang-for-your-buck" ongoing updates and maintenance is strongly suggested…

We have a maintenance plan that works great for each one of you!

We offer maintenance by the hour or by monthly contract. The monthly contract advantage is the huge savings over our hourly rate and your maintenance requests are assured to be first in line. The advantage to us—we can plan for your work each month assuring you will have our personal attention and quicker turn around for your projects.

To discuss your particular needs please click here to schedule an Internet marketing consultation.

Is it SWIRLING all around?

I don’t know about you, but I can’t listen to any news broadcast these days that isn’t full of doom and gloom. Perhaps you are feeling it in one way or another too, maybe the pocketbook…

As a child, my beloved Aunt Myrtle used to say “You are about as wealthy as you make up your mind to be.”  As I grew older, I have heard “about as happy as you make up your mind to be,” but she meant more than happy—wealthy is more than a feeling, it is a state of being—wealthy in body, mind, spirit and pocketbook.

Lately, in our coaching practice we hear words of resignation… it’s understandable, but no way to live and thrive. Why resignation? The simple answer is: if not watchful, you may tend to pick up the thoughts, feelings and habits of those around you. With the news full of depression and despair, it wreaks havoc on our imagination and creatively—two necessary items needed to change any situation. Imagining something better leads to possibilities, possibilities lead to creativity, which leads to new beginnings.

We are more powerful than any present circumstance.

The trick is to be aware of the world around you without it shattering you. Stay open to change. Transfer your focus to other things (sometimes I have the world’s cleanest bathrooms.) Let it go, even for a short while. Allow the subconscious to work with imagination and creativity. By letting go and shifting focus, we shift energy away from the problem and "energize" possibilities.

If you have ever survived something, maybe a medical condition, a job loss, an accident… somewhere inside you, you have already discovered that even though you have not beaten the odds of bad things happening, you have used your imagination and creativity to overcome them.

Limitations are a trick of the mind. You may not be responsible for a less-than-desirable event, but you are responsible for your choice in how you react or resolve it. Once you make up your mind to achieve what you want, you will find a way around obstacles.

"Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible. This power becomes available to you just as soon as you can change your beliefs." ~Maxwell Maltz~

Have a great day in whatever your adventure,
To Success! To Life!
Sharon�